I so wanted this movie to be good. I really wanted to love it. It had everything going for it, everything. Bloody Mallory had the potential to be one of the greatest cult movies ever made. I mean seriously this movie had a cool as fuck, ass-kicking heroine that drives around in a pink hearse. Exploding nuns, vampires, fallen angels, a wise-cracking transvestite explosives expert, nun raping demons, The Pope & a mute telepath. What more could you want in a movie? Yet somehow despite all this I couldn’t help but feel disappointed as the end credits started to roll. The comparison to Buffy The Vampire Slayer is too easy & actually not accurate in the slightest. Mallory is way more camp in it’s concept, it just lacks so much in execution.
Mallory is forced to kill her husband on their wedding night, this is due to the fact that he is, in fact a demon. From this moment on Mallory’s life changes & as the movie begins she is the head of a government strike force that combats the supernatural. Her team comprises of drag queen & explosives expert Vena Cava, Talking Tina a mute teenage telepath, capable of possessing other humans & animals & Durand a government agent. Along with her team Mallory is sent to protect a group of nuns from some demons. A battle ensues which leaves Vena Cava injured, Talking Tina in a coma & Durand dead. While Mallory & her team are battling the demons The Pope is kidnapped by some masked assailants. Mallory is approached by the vatican to rescue The Pope, a task which she reluctantly undertakes as it may lead her to the demons that attacked her team.
This film should have been amazing. As I mentioned earlier it had everything going for it. The movie actually had its moments, sadly way too few & too far between to save it. The blame lies completely at the feet of director/writer Julien Magnat & co-writer Stephane Kazandjian. All they had to do was to play to the movie’s strengths & it would have been spectacular. The entire cast was excellent. Valentina Vargas was suitably villainous as the vampire Lady Valentine. Jeffery Ribier was outstanding as Vena Cava but criminally underused. The acidic dialogue between Vena Cava & The Pope about subjects like condoms was inspired. In Olivia Bonamy, Magnat had a wonderful actress who really made Mallory come to life & put in an amazing performance. Sadly the film had two huge flaws. The first was a slow, plodding script that highlighted the fact that Magnat had no idea about pacing. Every time the film seemed to get going it would slow to a snail’s pace with nothing of substance or relevance happening. The other flaw was the poorly choreographed fight scenes. I accept the film’s budget was very low, but that was kind of its charm. After all it’s a camp movie, the effects & sets didn’t have to be of the highest quality but the fight scenes were dull despite the casts obvious enthusiasm. Even accepting that they couldn’t afford to stage massive fight scenes, they could have worked wonders in editing. Instead the action looks stilted & lame.
In conclusion I wouldn’t say the film isn’t worth a watch, there is just about enough here to warrant seeing it. I certainly wouldn’t pay out to rent it, my advice would be to wait for it to appear on cable or failing that as a free DVD on the cover of some film magazine. I guarantee you will be disappointed.